I'm also thinking about a guy while I write this. I always have a guy on the brain, but lately, it's all about him. But here's my dilema. I don't think he likes me like I like him. I mean, a bunch of my friends think he likes me and I think he knows it, since I've been really obvious about it. (Whoops). But he never does anything to protest it, which confuses me a bit. Men are confusing, and I really wish they came with an instruction manual.
Music, on the other hand is really easy to understand. Sometimes, the meaning is clear and the writer will tell you what the song was about, whether it be a girl, or simply that he, or she, was really frustrated when writing it. Maybe he was trying to talk about whatever it was that he needed to get off his chest. But a guy? He won't tell you what he's feeling, what he wants, if he likes you, if he thinks your funny. Sometimes, you even have those guys that lead you on because they want to see you get all obsessed over him, only to tell you that he wants to see other people, while at the same time he wants to see you.
When you like a guy, or even when you like a girl, things should be clear cut. There shouldn't be that internal asking about 'whether or not you have feelings for them' or wondering whether they have feelings for you. Life is too short to wonder about the maybes, the could have beens, the should'ves, the if, ands, or buts, and even to worry about what you do. Regrets are mistakes you don't learn from and so far, I have one regret-letting people control my life by telling me what to do. I'm my own person, you're your own person, so what does it matter what other people think? It's your life, and you shouldn't have to worry about what others thing of you.
So what if your a little hefty, or a little thin? If your strange, but happy, then it doesn't matter what others think. If your who others want you to be, but your not happy, then that matters. What matters is that your you. Do you know how many times a day people call me either strange, odd, loud, outspoken, insane, bitchy and blunt, stupid, ditzy, and who knows what else? I have no idea, and frankly, my dear, I don;t give a damn. I'm happy because I have my best friend who laughs at me, shoves me into things, trips me, but if I get into a whole, or I get caught up over something that I shouldn't, she's my shoulder to cry on, she's there with a shovel, she's there if I needed to hide a body, and most importantly, she's an oddball with me.
If you don't like the world you live in, CHANGE IT. I was listening to the radio last night, and the song 'Californication' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers came on, and I was thinking while listening to the radio, "Huh, how true. That's exactly how I feel sometimes." And then I remembered something that one of my guy friend's cousins said to me once. "Music is what other people are feeling. Yes, it can describe how you feel, but it's not from you." And yeah, music is a get-away for me. It makes me happy, it helps me focus, but most importantly, I like hanging out with people who help me broaden my horizons, or help me move away from my comfort zone into doing things that make me happy.
I've played the piano since I was 7. That's almost 10 years. I feel great getting to play music that makes me happy. Yeah, some times it's frustrating, but when I can play that song really well or I finally figured out the hard part of the song that I've been working on for weeks, that's rewarding to me.
Zeit fur musik!(Or, time for music in German)
- Grace Kelly-Mika
- We Are Golden-Mika
- Californication-Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Someone like You-Boys like Girls
- Fences-Paramore
- I Just Haven't met you Yet-Michel Buble
Aight, I will talk to you all later, and thank you for reading my (long) rant.
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